you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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