That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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