did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
