I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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