hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
