god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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