thus making me awesome and them whores
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
