ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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