Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
