Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
