sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
