Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
