Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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