just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you never un-have a 4some
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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