STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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