More tranny stories later!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
