Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

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(662): View more from Mississippi

There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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(903): View more from Texas

Beer Popsicles are better in theory

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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice

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(856): View more from New Jersey

extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry

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