Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
