Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've blown a few things in my day
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
