Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
