But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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