East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
