that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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