I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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