one might say we're banned from that church
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
