i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
