Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
