...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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