i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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