so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
