Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
