he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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