I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
