i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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