"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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