Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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