if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
