what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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