Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
