is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
40s are totally the cure
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize