Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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