I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We got so high we made milksteak
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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