Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
