i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
