I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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