Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
