went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
