Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im part way to drunk.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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