oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
