; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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