Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize