I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
