I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
