hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize