I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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