I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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