I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
