I just saw a hot homeless man
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
