Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
