shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't deserve a penis
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
is it fun? or sober?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize