last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
