just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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