also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
