the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
