If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
